Fibromyalgia

I've become the princess I disdained as a child. I'll prove my
royal blood. Put twenty mattresses between me and that pea.
My bones will feel its sharp, hard curve, here, at the small
of my back. I am only sick, I am not dying, no faster

than I was before. I want to stretch my muscles across
the cool length of the blue pool. I want to walk four miles a day
in the rainforest, through the cedars, beneath the eagles and herons.
I want to laugh from the middle of my belly so hard my breasts

bounce. I want to throw Clancy's ball one hundred times in a row.
Instead, I consider the purchase of a stylish cane, one with an animal
head to hold in my aching hand. I've become cranky and rude. I eat
off paper plates, drink from plastic glasses. China and silver fade

under dust on the shelves. I want to be back where I was before.
I want to wrap my legs around another body. I want to earn hard
breathing. I want to build my own garden wall, bend to place
seeds in the black earth with my own hand. I want to wake

in the quiet morning glad for the day in front of me and the dreams
behind. I want to lie in the sun all long afternoon, hot and easy and
dazed by good fortune. I want to bicycle down the hill with Elizabeth.
How do others move through this with such grace and good manners?

My days are short as winter solstice, even in summer heat. I have no
desire left, except for sleep, solitude, a feathered bed. No, sorry, I'm
too tired, too many people at parties, too much noise in the streets.
There is no prince. There is no heaven. There is no sleep.

   

Comments

[collee]

a poet with some Chronic Fatigue...blogghopping tonight and saying hello.

[susie]

To be honest ive never read a poem so breathtaking and one word KEWLIES (even if its not a word in the English dictionary).IT SHOULD BE, i say! it should be lol. anyways. i love the poem it has great inspiring detail and that's wut gives the reader an image that makes them think.awesome

Brilliant! My heart and nerve endings shudder at the depth and constancy conveyed in your words.
(I can identify because I've had rheumatoid arthritis for 35 years with its chronic pain and destruction. FYI, I read yesterday that fibromyalgia is getting closer and closer to being identified as a vitamin D3 deficiency, which could be resolved by a daily half-hour in the sun, or full spectrum light - 15 minutes on your back and another 15 on your front - in a bikini or less.)

[Sherry]

I came upon this poem. It struck me in my soul...Wow! This is exactly what I have been feeling and there IS another soul out there with the same feelings and thoughts. I made me feel both good and sad. What a shitty "syndrome" this is. Thanks for your thoughts. I hope you get this...

[Giovanni Vidotto]

appreciate your passion.

[tiffany]

im 17 and ive had firbomyalgia for the last three years. i think you put that into some of the best words ever sometimes it really feels like theres nothing left, its hard not be able to do what every one else does especially in highschool. you miss out on so uch when u have this disease thank you for acknowledging it in ur poem

[Tina Trivett]

This is such a touching write. Your more than welcome to join our Fibro board. There are many there facing the same challenges.

http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/fibromyalgia.html